@DrPeterThraft

Wonderful new twitter chap with some.. interesting advice and views on sex. Here’s some of his tweets.

Hello everyone, my name is @DrPeterThraft – nice to be in Twitterland

Sex when you’re disabled. Find out what suits you

Painful sex? Did you know, a woman’s natural lubrication can be reduced by many things, from boozing to breastfeeding to herpes.

Penises are different shapes and sizes. So are fingers. Remember to use both.

3 reasons why you should break up 1. You don’t like the same things 2. You’ve had a physical bust up 3. Your man admires ladies

Men, sex texting is good. Or sexting! Try it! Pretend to be somebody else. See how turned on she gets (your partner/wife)

(Although I wouldn’t advise pretending to be her father)

Is he cheating? 1. Does he make friends with ladies? 2. Is he mysterious? 3. Is sex all about his ejaculation?

3 phrases that spell the end It’s not you it’s me I need to get my head together Shall we sort out a threesome with Becky? (A friend)

If you want to stay a virgin. Stay a virgin. It’s my only advice on this topic.

Dildos Start on slow setting. Then full throttle setting. Touch his perineum with the dildo. Above all, enjoy yourself!

Ladies, if you suck his finger whilst you both watch tv – watch him get turned on. Sexual intercourse is just round the corner.

If you have a sexual rash you have a yeast infection deep inside

Use your fingers when masturbating. They can bring extra pleasure

When you hold the penile shaft – be gentle. Take care of it. Remember, you only get one

‘Letting go’ is the secret to intense orgasms. So, let go ladies! And gents!

Enjoy post sex. Wipe ejaculated semen on to your partner. Massage it into her skin. Kiss her and kneed it into her buttocks

Men, if your partner is embarrassed by the state of get body – compliment her. Tell her she’s special. Make love to her face to face.

Men, if you suffer from a small penis wedge two fingers into your partner’s vagina when inserting your manhood. It can be tricky at first.

Women, learn to say ‘no’.

Men, whisper your fantasies into your partner’s ear. Then begin fingering her. Slowly does it.

Anal sex. Remember to always check with your doctor first.

If you’re overheating during sex, stop! Take the head of your penis and squeeze just below.

Vaginas are mysterious. Get to know hers. Explore!

Have fun. When you and your partner are sat together on the sofa, start laughing. Laugh. Just laugh. As long as you can. You’ll feel great!

Don’t confine sex to the bedroom, be naughty and have fun. Try the woods, a restaurant toilet, your garage.

Ladies, a costume is a good way to spice things up in the bedroom. Pretend to be someone you’re not. A dirty policewoman? An athlete?

Men, remember to hold your partner close after ejaculating. Tell her you she will always be your number one. Fall asleep hugging one another

Never insert anything down the eye of the penis. Enjoy the penis exterior.

Use the tip of your tongue on your partner’s breast. Lightly touch the nipple. Watch her tremble. Tell her it’s an insect. Watch her laugh.

Men, here’s a good trick. Scare your partner in the dark and then make passionate love to her. The fear will cause her to orgasm.

Men, the last thing a woman suffering from low sexual desire needs is a metaphorical rifle 2 her head loaded with threats of divorce

(I’m thinking Dr Shraft is allowing us to look into his family life with this one…)

Learn to trust one another. Ask to shave your partner’s pubic hair into your own design. A circle? Zigzags? Use your imagination

Begin now, open your sensual window and invite new experiences through/in.

Men, find a fruity chocolate heart and send her into fruit and nut bliss. Remember, I didn’t tell you to melt it and spread it on her!!!

Ladies, a sexual dance for your man can work wonders. Turn your bedroom into a strip club. Give yourself a nickname. E.G ‘Anne nimal’.

Treat the vagina like a magnificent vase.

(Although I would suggest, trimming the stalks before you start arranging your flowers)

Ladies, pay close attention 2 the corona on ur partner’s penis. (Ridge where the head meets the shaft). It’s my favourite part of the penis.

(I’ve never actually written a top five favourite areas of the penis, perhaps I should start?)

Is your partner lying? Does he/she keep touching his/her nose when talking to you? Do her/his eyes look left, then right, when talking 2 u?

(Perhaps refrain from asking her questions, whilst trying to cross the road?)

From above your penis might look small – from where i’m standing, you look fine! Have penis confidence!

Make friends with your vagina. Talk to it.

Male G-spot. Glide ur finger in2 his hole – palm down in2 his sac. U should find a pea or bean like object inside his anus

When a guy likes you, he will look directly at you when he talks. He will not look around at other girls. His head will tilt to the left

(Poor Stephen Hawking, he never gets a date)

The backside and outer wall of the vagina are often overlooked. Let your fingers go for a stroll.

Ladies,if ur man wants 2 have mor sex than u – big deal! Give him an orgasm! It takes 2 minutes. Life can then continue. And men..thank her!

In reality threesomes are often less appealing than the original fantasy. Maybe stick to a twosome but add an imaginary friend/lover

(I’m having difficulty seeing how this one would work in reality…)

If you feel like you are in the wrong relationship then you most probably are. Move on to your next lover. For everyone’s sake. Good luck

If your new boyfriend has a large penis (extra 3″) then tell him you’re nervous and if he loves you he’ll do something about it.

Ladies, this is fun. Sit opposite ur naked man and give him a ‘2 handed milking’ – this is called ‘The Cowboy’ and never fails raise a smile

Should every gay guy bottom? Some gay guys think so. If you’re gay and you want to bottom, I say go for it. Good luck

To seduce a man focus on what you’re wearing. Tight across the bust and hips and loose everywhere else seems to always work

Ladies, touch ur partner’s body tonight as if for the last time. Stroke it, massage it, pat it, taste it, probe it, feast on it, worship it

Ladies, hold a mirror in front of your vagina. See what your partner sees. Talk to your partner about what you have seen.

Lift your wife/girlfriend up like a baby and hold her for as long as you can. This will cause a few giggles but also make her feel loved.

(Refrain from patting her on her back till she burps though)

Men, when performing oral sex on your partner listen with your tongue. Her vagina will send messages to you.

Friday’s sexual position – The crab The lady assumes the position of a crab. The man enters the lady from behind. Slow sideways movements

There are many exercise books on the market to help ladies with larger vaginas.

To keep your relationship alive retain some privacy Eg 1. Plucking eyebrows 2. Coughing up phlegm 3. Urinating/defecating

Fisting is just the name for inserting a whole hand into a woman’s vagina. It isn’t violent.

Are you a woman who dates frequently, but finds it hard to sustain a relationship with a man? Look at why this is and change it.

(slut.)

Breaking Up Rules 1. Look at their eyes 2. Remain calm. 3. Tell them you want to break up 4. Walk away 5. Never go back

Licking the anus while stroking your lover’s clitoris can be very satisfying for all involved

(Unless you’re queuing for a ride at Alton Towers)

Men, opening up your partner’s bottom cheeks can make her feel vulnerable. Always ask her first.

Perform oral sex on your partner as they sleep. Make the most of it

(before they wake up and feel violated ?)

Have fun with sex. Pour baby oil on a lilo, get on top it with your lady and penetrate her hard with fast piston movements

I am often asked, “does it make me gay if I masturbate in front of a mirror?” The answer for the most part is no.

(Unless you’re wearing leather chaps and singing “Beautiful”.)

(Gay Advice) When having anal sex 4 the first time listen 2 ur lover’s reactions. If he is making noises that suggest he’s in pain, slow up.

Ladies, don’t pressure your man. You don’t like to be pressured, do you? How do you think he likes it?

Men, always give ur lady compliments. It could be as simple as ‘u look pretty in ur new shoes or ‘I like ur new jeans – she will feel loved

Men often ask “Y do I like big breasts?”. It’s just a personal preference. Some men like legs, some like vaginas – I wouldn’t worry about it

@CloMre Please unfollow me, Thankyou – Dr Peter Thraft

It isn’t every nice receiving aggressive messages – Dr Peter Thraft

Men, whilst in the doggy position, as u have such great access 2 it, why not give ur lady a gentle slap on her bottom (Ask first)

Ladies, imagine ur tongue is a tiny paintbrush. Move ur man’s testicles out of the way and lightly dab his perineum. Cue mind numbing orgasm

Men, cunnilingus can be 1 of the most wonderful things u can do 4 a lady. Howeva, 4 men, it can hav its downfalls. e.g taste, smell, texture

Men, ask your partner to do a nude photo shoot! Drape a scarf over her breasts and vagina. Enjoy!

(Cos no-one should have to look at those!)

@viragotweets could you please unfollow me immediately – Dr Peter Thraft

@Mabeltweets I asked you to unfollow me. I would appreciate it if you did. Thankyou, Dr Peter Thraft

@NotFighty Please leave me alone – Dr Peter Thraft

Ladies, when ur man is horny don’t undress him, just pull his penis out + pull your panties to one side. Now, go have some great speed sex!

@Nicola_Blunden please unfollow me – you are becoming quite aggressive. Thankyou – Dr Peter Thraft

If you do not like the smell of a man’s penis then ask him to have a shower. Penises can smell like fish.

Men, to postpone ejaculation, try thinking of something that is a complete turn off. Some kind of food or an animal?

When talking dirty, stress the last syllable and breathe deeply. Eg “wet” should be pronounced as “wet-te.” followed by a long sigh.

A ‘Fanny fart’ is very normal. It’s just trapped air in the vagina that needs 2 escape. ‘Fanny farts’ rarely smell, so nothing 2 worry about

Some vaginas are very unusual to look at. Talk to your partner about it. We are all different.

The best person to be in a threesome is the ‘guest’. No ties, no responsibility. Enjoy your role as the ‘meat in the orgasm sandwich’.

@ThraftsClient please could you unfollow me. You are not a client of mine. I can see what you’re trying to do – Dr Peter Thraft

Forced sex can be exciting in a loving relationship

@lukemackaycooks Any more of those offensive and I shall leave Twitter.

I don’t see why i have to explain my background all the time. I did that when I first joined.

@CloMre why do you still contact me. I have never liked your tone. Please leave me alone.

@cathcincotta I find your humour tasteless. Please find another corner of Twitter to inhabit

Men, when performing a strip tease 4 ur partner – turn round, lift ur buttocks and arch ur back (nude). This will reveal ur hanging scrotum.

@Oxley24 you are now blocked

Please be wary of the @MrsThraft Twitter account. It is false. Perhaps they wouldn’t joke about my wife if they knew my background

Some ladies like to leave changing room curtains slightly open for men to look in.

In the heat of the moment try speaking 2 ur lover in a degrading way, such as “my little slut” or “my little dirty bastard”

@dg18294 If you are rude to me again I will block you

Men, ask ur lady to lie with her back on a sofa with her legs around your neck. U then lick her vagina. Almost wearing her like a ‘feedbag’

Ladies, when pushing your vagina into your man’s face remember to lift it up every few seconds to give him an opportunity to breathe!

17% of women have revealed their breasts to a passing motorist.

@LarryCaines You are now blocked – Dr Peter Thraft

Make love tonight like you mean nothing to one another. Make it hard, make it fast, make it animal. (Afterwards hug eachother)

Men, when ur lady ejaculates she is expelling urine and glucose from her system. If she feels embarrassed by this, tell her you love her.

(Then tell her to clean up ?)

Ladies, you need to be completely comfortable with both lovers when receiving two penises.

(Personally, I prefer chocolates or flowers.)

Ladies, emptying the bladder to prevent embarrassing urinary release is vital in preparation for sexual intercourse.

Rough sex is great. Biting, piston thrusting, scratching. But, do not place your hand over your lover’s mouth. Breathing is vital to life.

@daryllayton you are very rude – you a now blocked

Some people enjoy urinating on their partner. If your partner enjoys urinating on you, it is nothing to worry about.

Exhibitionism – two rules 1. Nowhere near children 2. Plan escape route/car/van

I decided to come on Twitter as it was recommended to me. I wasn’t expecting so much negativity and suspicion. Fake accounts, family abuse.

I don’t need to continue this account. Why should I put up with threats, sarcasm, suspicion, fake accounts under my name. Very saddened.

@conbag90 you are now blocked

@everyplate I am surprised at how incredibly rude and threatening people are. That is what i am surprised at.

@stuarthoughton you are mow blocked

Men, using your penis, try ‘stirring’ your partner’s vagina like a soup bowl

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